nedostaje

[SHIVA]

nisam textopisac, ali!!!

Originally Posted by Lou

As we walk across the darkness (stilska greshka, mozhda "trough" umjesto across?)
In the distance looms the light,
and the hope of new beginning,
a marathonic flight.

A men in the line,
a new day arises, (new day rises... bez A)
hundreds in the march, (vrlo nesretno rjeshenje... mozhda "the hundreds march")
united shout!

Ref.

LIKE, a blade of the light,
COMES, a birth of new sun,
ALONG the thunderstorms come,
LIGHTNING symbol of might! (pishe se symbol, "the" je vi?ka, a fraza je oksimoron ali mozhe proch kao umjetnichka sloboda... naime moch jest simbol jer ochito nie objekt)

As we fly above the wild,
In the myst hides a goal, (kriva formulacija, ili "the mist hides a/our goal" ili "in the mist a hidden goal")
and the rain forests burn, (S na krivom mjestu... forest burns)
In the smoke creeps the fall. (umjesto "in" radije "trough" ili "bellow")

A heroes in the struggle,
A fight for the highest aims,
thousands joining the force,
success is the pain. (the je vishak iako mozhe proch ako bash mora)

uzmi shto ti pashe, ignoriraj ostatak... kad je vech na engleskom da bar ima ispravnu formu... (zabrijao sam da che muzika bit alla Iron Maiden pa me sjetilo na djetinjstvo)